I should have quit.

This year has had many great times; and it's been one of my harder ones. It was supposed to be the best.

Everything was lined up and then it wasn't.

There has been a ton of growth, adversity and contrast. I wanted to quit a hundred times. I questioned myself, I doubted myself, I had no idea if any of it would work. I should have quit. All the signs and evidence pointed toward failure. Nothing was working. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. The harder I tried the worse it got. I started to lose faith and confidence in myself. I wasn’t sure if I was on the right path. I questioned if my goals and dreams were too big. That I would never actually be able to achieve them. That I was just setting myself up for failure and I should just settle. I should just give up.

As often as that inner voice said "quit", I refused. I kept going, I held on to a glimmer of hope. I don’t know what it is inside me, maybe I’m just too damn stubborn. Or perhaps it is the people in my life. I couldn’t quit on them. They believe in me and I can't let them down; no matter how long it takes me to succeed.

Through all of my struggling, I had people who believed in me, who supported me and faith never wavered. I can never put my appreciation of that into words. It is because of them I was able to continue on when I lost all faith in myself. I could lean on their faith in me. In the times of difficulty, I found my strength. When I wanted to quit, I found bravery. When I felt alone, I found love in my friends and family. When I had victory, I found humility. I found me. Most of all, I found appreciation. I appreciate and am grateful for what I have, what I don't, where I've been, and where I'm going. More than anything I appreciate and love the people on this journey with me.

Appreciation, above anything else has taught me to accept what is for what is. No judgments, no anger, no guilt. Just acceptance and respect for what something is or isn’t. Who someone is or who they are not.

At this point of my journey, I quit.

I quit listening to the voice that said quit

I quit following my doubts

I quit questioning myself

I quit the old me

I quit doing things that didn’t serve my greater purpose.

I am not there yet but I know I will make it and have all of my dreams come true.

xoxo -

The Money Duchess